


Beyond Words

by dasakuryo



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: (space) Spanish, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Cuddling & Snuggling, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Battle of Scarif, Romantic Fluff, Sharing a Bed, space latinxs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2019-11-19 03:11:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18130181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasakuryo/pseuds/dasakuryo
Summary: Feelings are complicated, more so when it's impossible to find the right words to express them. Galactic Basic often falls short; luckily for Cassian, Festian can alleviate his predicament. //[Five times Cassian sayste quieroto Jyn, and one time he doesn't].





	1. Chapter 1

"Te quiero," says papá.

The somberness clouding mamá's face falters with the sudden gleam in her eyes.

Cassian peers at them from the couch.

"Te amo," says papá.

And mamá's face lights up.

He doesn't get it — it's just a word, after all.

He can't help but make a face when he sees them kissing, promptly making his father burst into laughter.

(Maybe he will understand it when he's older.)

 

* * *

 

**i.**

Cassian didn't know if he'd ever get another chance to tell her. He'd wasted enough opportunities already, shied away from the true statement and bit his tongue out of fear the confession would drive her out in some way. Only he couldn't maintain the feeling confined to his chest, blossoming and thumping painfully with the words left unsaid. The ache of the path he was afraid of taking weighed, unbearable, within him.

He could die.

Jyn could die.

He could die without telling her how he felt.

She could die without knowing how he felt about her.

So when Jyn got to his side and grabbed a power cell for her blaster, his breath caught in his throat, when they locked eyes and the corners of her mouth curled into a thin smile, the words tumbled from his lips.

"Te quiero."'

As soon as they broke the silence, his chest untightened. Suddenly Jyn went very still beside him, his stomach clenched.

_Had she understood, what he meant— what he'd tried to—_

Heart hammering against his chest, he sought her eyes, his insides quivering. She avoided his gaze and Cassian dreaded the worst. But when Jyn looked up, staring right back at him, he didn't miss the curves trudging their way onto her face as she worked her lips.

Cassian let out a slight, quiet sigh. Jyn let her lips curl into a smile then, it wasn't until the warm shiver of her breath fanned his cheeks that Cassian realized Jyn had closed off the space between them. The very air around them seemed electrified. The smile dangling on her lips quivered into slightly parted lips when she — _or had he_ — leaned a little closer.

With his heart pounding from anticipation or nerves, he couldn't really know anymore, he reached out with a hand of tremulous fingers to cup her face. Heat sneaked through his veins as her eyes darted to his mouth. Jyn didn't try to hide it now, the beginning of a faint smile playing on her lips, her eyes bright with expectation. He dipped his head, and thither was a little tug at the lapel of his jacket, yanking him down.

But even as his brain attempted to process all that, he was overwhelmed by an entirely different sensation. Her warm breath filling his lungs. Her mouth pressing on his, the touch so soft and light it could have been a figment of his imagination. His eyes fluttered shut at the contact, his breath mingling with hers.

Cassian pressed his lips to hers, Jyn shivered and made a soft sound in the back of her throat. His heart picked up speed as her mouth moved gently against his, responding in kind, every brush carrying a tingling warmth. Then Jyn nudged her tongue against his lips and it was his turn to feel the air catching in his throat; she slipped into his mouth deepening her caress, his fingers threading through her hair. The kiss was tender, lingering, questing. Both a feathery question and tantalizing reassurance of what neither of them could exactly put into words.

At least not yet.

They parted, gasping, when they couldn't ignore any longer their lungs screaming for air. Her fingers now gripping his jacket, Jyn's ragged exhale breezed across his face. Cassian had eased his hand to the small of her back, pulling her closer. She yielded to the tow, leaning in, as soft lines burrowed by the corners of her mouth. Cassian drew in a sharp breath, too aware of the warmth of her body against his own.

He stroked her face with his thumb, feeling his heart flutter when she gave a brief hum in response. Not a second later, she looked up to meet his eyes, and Cassian saw, shining brightly, the same intense anticipation before she kissed him. Yet, this time it was warmer, fonder… as if a feeling locked and buried deep inside had stirred to the surface.

He ducked his head again, and a breath away from her mouth, he felt the need to repeat "te quiero."

Jyn nose nuzzled his, her breath hot and itching on his lips, and then came her whispered, "I know."

With no preamble her mouth spread over his again, this time slowly building the pressure into something wilder, more eager and exultantly exhilarating.

And for a moment Cassian forgot the Empire and the war.

Everything but Jyn faded away. The galaxy suddenly reduced to his lips moving against hers with no conscious thought, the heat of her body pressed against his, her shivering against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uhm, yeah... I have a soft-spot for the rich emotional potential of cross-linguistic nuance xD I love the concept of Jyn picking up and learning Festian Spanish little by little (and it's canon she's good with languages, after all). Hope you all have enjoyed the first chapter n.n Feedback is much appreciated ♥


	2. Chapter 2

**ii.**

"Te quiero," he whispered against Jyn's lips, his voice trembling with the ghost of laughter still building up in his throat.

Jyn let out a hearty tinkling laugh. It was light and soft and yet so very infectious at the same time. The sound of her laugh, the smell of her skin, the feel of her body against his —such mundane things, they were, but ones he regarded as luxuries. The rare kind he could hold close to his heart.

He was grateful for this stolen moment amidst the war. The Force had apparently smiled upon them, assigned to the same base at the same time, prompting Cassian's return a day earlier ahead of schedule and delaying Jyn's departure for an hour. Their time together would be short, as it had always been. But no matter how short, it was still a break in the clouds.

Her helmet thumped on the ground and she yanked him closer, deeper into the secret hideaway under the shady trees.

Cassian dropped his head, nuzzling her throat, and she raked her fingers through his hair. His lips curved into a mischievous smile, his mouth wandered up her neck and past her jaw. Jyn's breath caught in anticipation and Cassian breathed in the smile tugging at his lips, he nibbled gently, teasingly, on her lobe. She stifled a satisfied sound. The grip on his hair vanished, replaced by a scrape down his neck.

Soon enough, it was his turn to bite down a sound quickly building in the back of his throat, when Jyn slid a hand underneath his shirt.

 _Payback, captain,_ she murmured, teasing him gently, running her hand lazily across his chest, sending chills down his spine _._

He pressed a kiss to the soft skin below her ear, buried his face in the crook of her neck and took a deep breath, relishing the touch of her fingers. Her hand meandered down, down, down… a shiver run up his back in anticipation—

But she swerved when stroking his hip, looping her arm around his waist, holding him against her.

Cassian's eyes fluttered shut all the same. With a soft sigh, he settled his lips on her pulse point. A feather-like touch. She hummed, shattering something inside his chest. He wished he could burn that sound into his memory. He drowned in the pleasant sensation of her body against his, the heat seeping through her clothes and into his skin, her nape fitting perfectly in the palm of his hand, their chests swaying in perfect synch… It was _this_ , holding her and being held _by_ her, made the world seem a little less grey.

For a moment, with her arms around him and her breath caressing his skin, he could pretend nothing else mattered.

She pulled back and his eyes fluttered open at her fingers grazing softly across his cheek. He couldn't help the smile that blossomed on his face, knowing he was the only one who could see her eyes that bright, her gaze that soft— it made his heart skip a beat, feeling blooming behind his ribs.

And then, with her lips only a breath apart, their mingled sighs weighing exhilaratingly heavy in the space between them it happened again. The two words itched on his throat… it would be so easy to close that small gap and whisper them against her lips—

Jyn pressed her mouth to his before he even got the chance to utter a sound. He melted into the kiss, sinking in its sweet ache. The taste of her, her hand on his neck, her fingers in his hair, his racing heartbeat, the caress of her lips—

The words were on his tongue again when her ragged gasp feathered across his face, when he saw that small smile taking shape on her lips as she stared at him, fingers gripping his jacket, yanking him down back to her.

"I'm going to miss you," she said, chewing on her lip.

The words constricted his throat. All he had to do was… _let them out._

"I'm going to miss you too," he said instead.

Cassian leant forward, brushing their noses together. He was going to miss the shivers of her breath ghosting over his lips like that. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, smoothing down her hair and Jyn looked up at him, the small shy smile barely touching her lips, but reaching her eyes with an intensity that reminded him of smoke, pain, faint noises of battle and the gentle darkness of an elevator.

Looping his arms around her, Cassian drew her closer, as if a tighter hug would leave a piece of her behind. Something for him to bind his longing to and soothe the pain of her absence.

"Please, come back."

Jyn's fingers practically dug into his shoulder.

_He hadn't meant to say it out loud._

"Is that an order, captain?" she whispered amidst a giggle in his ear, but the way she brushed her thumb along his jaw was an unspoken answer.

_Don't die._

_Come home._

Her comm beeped then. It was Sefla. Her smile trembled when she took a step back. She hadn't let go, and out of reflex he curled his fingers and held them close. Jyn bit her lip, staring at their hands. Cassian's fingers unclenched, but the next second he was closing off the space between them and cupping her cheek. Gazing at him with eyes crinkled up at the corners, she let that soft smile etched into her face.

He should tell her, he should tell her… just in case—

The comm beeped again, but the words died in his mouth once more when she pressed her lips to his.

It tasted like a promise, in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some cute quality time together in between missions n_n Jyn knows how to pull the right strings and Cassian just rolls with it, the teasing from her end is an added bonus ;) Hope you have enjoyed this chapter and its fluff, because the upcoming one brings in the angst ((ﾟ□ﾟ;)) Thanks a lot for reading! As always, feedback is much appreciated ♥


	3. Chapter 3

**iii.**

"Te quiero," his voice wavered when he kissed her knuckles, pain and dread tugging at his heartstrings.

The air burned in his lungs. He wanted to say so many other things, comfort her, but the words got stuck somewhere in between his brain and his tongue. Unable to utter a sound, he'd grabbed her hand, hoping that the warm nestle of his palm and the swathe of his fingers could convey what he couldn't put into words.

Jyn's eyelids fluttered and she tipped her head, following the sound of his voice. A choked laugh rolled out his lips and he squeezed her hand. Her eyelids drooped when Cassian intertwined their fingers. Her grasp was feeble as if she was barely holding on to consciousness.

"Cassian—" Jyn croaked.

Her voice sounded pained, resembling a whine too much for his liking. His face contorted with worry, and he squeezed her hand tighter, rubbing his thumb along her index finger. She stirred; his gaze flew to the bandages poking out from beneath her gown. His eyes stung, and when he blinked the memory made his blood freeze in his veins. Her limp body, her deadly pale face, red spattered around the shrapnel, the crimson tint on the stretcher, the duracrete, _his hands_.

He'd felt her ebbing away in every warm stream sliding down his wrists—

Her breath caught, for an endless painful moment, his heart raced when her chest went still. She let out a ragged gasp, her fingers brushing against his when she tried to squeeze in turn. Cassian reached out and covered her palm with his free hand. She made a soft sound at the contact.

He tried not to think too much about how cold her skin felt.

He swallowed, but the lump constricting his throat did not give in. He hadn't told her. He could have lost her and she wouldn't have known—

He couldn't bring himself to tell her now, not when she was hanging in a netherworld between life and death. Telling her now felt like an ultimatum on hope, a betrayal to the depth of his feelings, a disloyalty to the weight the words carried. He couldn't ruin their significance like that, he couldn't taint them like that. He owed her that much.

Jyn didn't deserve that he finally spoke those words out of fear of losing her forever.

And yet—

"Hang in there," the hoarse whisper, begging for her to hold on, almost tore his throat. "No te rindas, por favor—"

His tongue wouldn't wrap around Basic. Maybe it was the fear clutching his heart, the desperation at the memory he'd almost lost her, the knowledge that anything could change in the blink of an eye, the looming threat that nothing was set in stone and she wasn't over the hump yet. Maybe it was his subconscious, the two words back at the tip of his tongue.

The sheets rustled, and she budged from her drowsy stillness again. Jyn peered up, looking at him through bleary eyes. The fear preyed on him, the need to lean in and kiss her was eating him up. Something shattered inside him when he felt the slow, gentle brush of her fingers on his hand.

"I'm here," he spoke, softly, just above a choked whisper.

The clear plastic misted up, her breathing was still uneven, shallow.

Her eyes glistened.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you," he somehow managed to let out.

Clear drops kept meandering down the intravenous line, Jyn's eyelids fluttered.

She wandered back into slumber. Cassian stayed, impervious to the nurses' insistence to go get some rest, they would send for him if there was any change. He _had to_ stay.

Jyn needed him. She needed to know he would never _leave her_ behind.

 

Hours later, when the doctor checked on Jyn a small sad smile tugged at her lips. Captain Andor had fallen asleep, face down on the worn covers, resting in the small space between her patient and the edge of the bed.

He hadn't let go of Sergeant Erso's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betraying the depth of his feelings is definitely something Cassian would never do to Jyn, so I figured having him in an angst-and-worry driven situation, leaving him between a rock and a hard place, to be an interesting scenario to explore. Of course this also is meant to highlight how much a _te quiero_ can mean. And the hurt/comfort is always a plus, and caring for each other is definitely at the core of Jyn and Cassian's relationship. Hope you have enjoyed the chapter, in spite of its theme. Next one is going to have less angst and more fluff ;) Thanks a lot for reading! <3 As always, feedback is most appreciated n_n


	4. Chapter 4

**iv.**

"Te quiero," Cassian breathed against her cheek, voice something in between a chortle and a gasp, still trying to catch his breath.

Jyn bit her lips, but the crinkles next to the corner of her eyes betrayed her. Her chest heaved and fell. With that bubbling joy still tugging at her lips, she reached out and touched his forearm with timid fingers.

The trace of the smile playing on Cassian's lips spread over his face. In the mellow pale morning light, her eyes were a bright green, the rosy flush on her cheeks warmer, hair fanned loose and free on the pillow, tickling his shoulder, the smile that wouldn't curl her lips giving a twinkle to her eyes.

Wriggling, she rolled over to face him. When their eyes met she couldn't keep his smile hidden any longer. Cassian smiled back and reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and skimming her cheek with his fingers. Jyn let out a soft quivering sound, something between a sigh and a giggle, and snuggled against his side. Her chin on his shoulder, her eyes beaming fondly at him, her palm over his heart, her knee across his hips—

The emotion swelling in his chest, spreading warmth through his body up to the very tips of his toes, had a name. One he had been feeling for a long time. One he had almost let roll off his lips earlier, when the exhilaration of sinking deeper and deeper into her and their hips moving against each other overwhelmed him.

But he'd bit it down.

He stroked her arm, a smile curled the corners of his mouth when his eyes landed on her thigh on his hip. He ducked his head, senses greeted by the faint musky smell of sweat that still remained, and pressed his lips to her forehead. With the taste of her still lingering in his mouth, the sudden salty tang tingled on his tongue.

He basked in the warm, rocking contact of her chest heaving against him, lulled to a languid bliss. A satisfied sigh breezed out his mouth when her fingers started wandering on his skin, drawing tantalizing designs across his chest.

He wanted to let the two words out. He wanted it so badly, because he felt them and the whole depth of their meaning. But— doing in it in the heat of such moment—

He concentrated on the map of scars etched on her skin. Most were from cuts and wounds, dimmed over time. He pressed her fingers to an intricate set flecked below her sternum, newer than the rest. They were velvet-soft under his fingertips, yet too pink to showcase that soft, silky luster. They came from a wound she had taken a few weeks ago, from shrapnel. His breath caught in his throat when the memories flickered through his mind.

He could have lost her that day. He couldn't bring himself to tell her then, not like that.

But— he hadn't been able to say them earlier either. A part of him thought she'd think he'd let them out _because_ of the moment, not in spite of it. And the other part of him didn't want the two words to be first associated with sex at all. What they had was more than that kind of intimacy. It had it alright, but it did also have vulnerability, comfort, understanding—

"Something wrong?" Jyn asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow, pulling him out of his thought.

"What makes you think that?" he retorted, smoothing her hair, though the ruffled up wisps were unwilling to cooperate.

"Well, you've just—" she trailed off, biting her lower lip. Her gaze flickered down. "It's just—uhm," she hesitated, index finger drawing circles on his arm.

A crease burrowed between her eyebrows and she bit her lower lip again.

He waited.

She dropped her gaze, her sigh barely a rustle. Her lips grazed over his shoulder, she held them there afterwards, mouth brushing gently against the spot she'd kissed. Her breathing breezed, warm, over his skin. She reached out and rubbed the pads of her fingers on his knuckles. Cassian swung his hand around at the touch, spreading his fingers, Jyn was quick to fit hers in between. And so her hand squeezed while his thumb stroked.

Maybe he had not been that good at masking his unrest as he'd thought.

Silence settled over the room, only broken by the faint sound of their breathing and the occasional rustle of the sheets. Jyn had settled for snuggling back against his chest and drawing swirling patterns above his heartbeat. When he ducked to press a kiss to her hair, he thought he'd seen her lip going white again under the merciless pricking of her teeth.

Cassian hated himself for killing the moment. And yet, he didn't know what to say to make up for it. Everything that flickered through his mind seemed pointless, not to mention it would never convince Jyn. She knew something was off, no matter how hard he denied it.

She fit her leg better in between his when he nestled the curve of her waist in his palm, he shifted a little in turn at her movement. Jyn let out another sigh that breezed across his chest, she stopped her absent-minded drawing and wrapped her arm around him, hand sneaking to stroke his back.

He pressed his mouth to her hairline and Jyn hummed, pleased and content, still stroking his back. The soft, welcoming heat of her body sinking to his very bones had his heart hammering in his chest.

This was peaceful. Their solace. In many ways, wasn't it what their _us_ was?

But Jyn suddenly pulled away and rose away from his grasp. She looked down, beaming at him.

"Breakfast?"

He licked his lips, gazing into her eyes.

"Te—" he paused at his deafening thumping heartbeat in his ears,"... vas," he said instead, voice raising questioningly.

Jyn snorted.

"What gave you that impression?" and she kisses him, hard and deep.

"I thought—" he stammered, short of breath.

Jyn smiled against his mouth.

"Don't you feel like we should make breakfast in bed our thing?" she said, her voice ringing with tingles of laughter.

Happy.

Carefree.

"Sounds good," he agreed, cupping her face.

She leant down for another kiss and he let it linger, deep, until he was out of breath again.

"Amazing," her sigh ghosted over his lips. "Because you're the one doing the cooking."

And then she slid off the bed, quickly grabbing Cassian's shirt from the floor and putting it on. At that, he wanted to pull a frown, yet his heart kept fluttering in his chest, filling him with a slow, calming warmth... All that came to his face was a stupidly soft and wan smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassian should really quit beating around the bush, shouldn't he? I had to have him being cold-feet about saying the two words in the heat of the moment. I know, really cliché of me, but sometimes clichés are endearing for a reason n.nUu Hope you have enjoyed the fourth installment of this story :D Infinite thanks for reading! Feedback is much appreciated ♥


	5. Chapter 5

**v.**

Cassian woke up in cold sweat to a pant-constricted throat, ears deafened by his roaring hearbeat, and his shirt sticking to his body like a second skin. He tried to take a deep breath, but all he managed to do was gasp while his chest burned and his lungs did not swell. He realised he was digging his nails into his palms when Jyn gently stroked his clenched fist.

A soft blue light suddenly pooled down from above. And despite the dim light no furtive glances where necessary, he knew the emotions creeping their way into her face, guessed her green eyes slightly rounded, the crease between her eyebrows and the trembling lip, the one she would quickly bite down to mask her unease. However futile it may be. She did it all the same. So as not to worry him—

"Cassian—" her voice was barely above a hushed whisper. "I— it's—" she trailed off.

Cassian turned, looking up to meet her gaze. He tried a reassuring smile, but all that came to his lips was a tremble. Jyn's frown deepened at that, at his heaved breathing and his trembling shoulders. He sighed, trying to even his breathing, and suddenly the suffocating sensation of shortness of air was overwhelmed by an entirele different one. A soft, warm and calming tickling on his skin, featherly chafing away the coldness of his sweaty skin. Jyn fingers trailed along his wrist, back and forth, then to the back of his hand. And back again.

Their gazes met again and the corners of her lips curled, just a bit. Shy, somewhat awkward. Her eyes, glistening under the light, still clouded with worry.

Her lips eased, just a tiny bit, into a half-smile. The pads of her fingers kept trailing along her skin, slower and slower. Dragging on. Lingering.

"It was just a bad dream."

It would have sounded far more convincing if his voice hadn't come out as hoarse as it did. As pained as it did. Suddenly Jyn's caress was sliding up his arm, and squeezing his eyes shut, Cassian chose to focus on the gentleness of that stroke and not at the heaviness still weighing in his chest. When Jyn harboured her hand on the curve of his shoulder, thumb rubbing circles on its hard lines, a knot got loose. He could suddenly inhale, steady and deeply, once again.

"Do you want to--" Jyn whispered, scooting closer to him, "talk about it?"

Cassian sighed again, the brush of her lips on his skin and the warmth of her body leaning against his lulled him to a semblance of calm.

"Not really."

Given the choice, he'd rather focus on the feel of Jyn's touch, not the nightmare. Then again doctor Kaloonia had suggested --though her tone at the time had felt more as if she were insisting-- keeping thoughts, feelings and emotions caged did not sit well with anyone, no matter how much he kept assuring he could deal with it. Some thing couldn't be buried, stashed away and forgotten. Like an old wound with a sensitive scar, thin tissue that would tear open under the right pressure.

They would always be looming. Latent.

And the memory twisted into a nightmare in his sleep was proof of that.

Jyn pressed another kiss to his shoulder, stroking his arm. Her fingers slid down to his wrist, eased their way onto his palm. His throat clogged and a pang of guilt twisted in his chest at Jyn's surprised face when he flinched away. He couldn't swallow the lump in his throat and his body went still. Stiff.  
It wasn't her- it was —

"I'm—" sorry wouldn't ease the hurt in her eyes. "It's not— I am—"

He struggled through his guilt, the memories flashing through his mind and the ghost sensations taking hold of his senses. Jyn worked her lips and nodded, and against his every sudden emotions Cassian didn't want anything but being held by her and breathe in solace against the curve of her neck.

"Cassian," she spoke, voice so calm and soft it made his insides quiver. He'd worried her, hurt her, without intending to. "I understand."

And Cassian recalled many sleepless nights in which it had been her who had startled awake, when it had been him who had hugged her until the ghosts of the past ebbed away in the night, while the warmth of his arms around her and her body pressed against his had melted the pain away.

Just like that, he found himself letting it all out. Blabbering. His voice almost breaking at times.

He told her of the first man he killed when he was twelve. That it wasn't supposed to happen, that he only had to eavesdrop at a Festian bar where imperials gathered and ended up speaking more than they should through slurred, clumsy tongues. That he had not realised one of the cadets had followed him when he sneaked through the back door. That he'd shot him, but his terrible aim had saved Cassian. That the fight got physical when Cassian couldn't reach the edge of the wall and the desperation he'd felt as the concrete gashed his skin, even through the layers of clothing. He told her of the punch that nearly made him black out, of the cadet's gloved hands wrapping around his neck and his burning lungs. Of his fumbling fingers that gripped his hidden vibroblade in the dazzling haze of desperation—

His eyes were burning when he spoke the rest, remembering how he'd buried the blade to the hilt. Once, twice, so many times he'd lost count. That the only thing he could hear was his pounding heartbeat. That the only thing he could see was the man's face contorting as he cried out and muffled curses. That the only things he could feel was the loosening grip of his hands and the warmth streaming down his wrists, soaking his parka and the snow red.

That he'd felt the blood tickling down his hand again when she'd tried to lock their fingers together, he didn't say. But the gleam that flickered in Jyn's eyes perhaps meant he would never have to put that sensation into words.

She hugged him the moment he fell silent, breathing heavily and slightly trembling. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, melting in the embrace, feeling the tremors ease at the contact of his body on hers. She tightened her arms around him, drawing circles on his back, leaning onto him. A soft sound escaped her, but Cassian could not tell if it had been her or him who had stifled a sniff against the other's skin.

Like that, with her arms around him, pulling him closer and closer, he felt the shards and broken pieces of him fitting back together. Something he'd never thought possible, but Jyn had showed him he was not broken, he could heal, in spite of his past and its sufferings. That he did not need to do so alone, that she was there for him to lean on. He could always trust her. She was home. A soothing, warm, tender home he'd thought lost forever. A home built on the feeling blossoming in his chest, heartbeat after heartbeat. She was hope, for the now, for the future. For everything they were and everything they could be.

And he loved her. And he wanted to speak it into the space between them.

But the air was heavy still with pain. And her eyes were still clouded. And his heart still hurt. And the shadows still loomed, though the flickering light of she and he entwined defied the dark.

He whispered _te quiero_ , and pressed a kiss to her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more hurt/comfort, but the other way around :) I wanted to show another angle of the depth of their relationship, how much Jyn means to Cassian. Hope you have enjoyed the chapter, feedback is always appreciated! n_n


	6. Chapter 6

"Come on, Jyn!" Cassian's frustrated yell rose above the shrill of her laughter. "Give it back!"

A wicked grin flashed across her face, curling the corner of her mouth and dimpling her cheek. Scowling, Cassian reached forward, trying to snatch the comm from her hand, but this time he could not take advantage of his height difference. Stepping backwards, she swayed her arm just in time, and all Cassian aimed to was scratching her arm.

He gasped, already short of breath, though it wasn't that surprising considering he had spent the last ten minutes chasing her around the apartment. He made a mental note of requesting smaller accommodations the next time he was on an undercover mission in Coruscant.

The stinging spasm of pain flaring up his side was as much of a testament of Jyn's sudden shenanigans, as her deftness to wriggle out from a captor -friend or foe alike, it seemed.

Cassian did not have much time to contemplate that mocking teasing smile of hers. In the blink of an eye she was already dashing to the other end of the study. Cassian run after her, swerved, trying to outstrip her, but it was useless. Taking advantage of her momentum, she hopped over the sofa and away from Cassian, padding barefoot down the hall.

Cassian mumbled a curse. In his haste to go after her, though, he miscalculated distances and stubbed his toe on the armchair. He took a deep breath and wobbled down after Jyn, grinding his teeth to keep his mind grounded. The dull throb on his foot might be numbing, just like the sting on his side, but even then he could not help but taking in Jyn's laugh, bouncing on the walls and echoing back to him.

Kark the time he mentioned off-handedly Kay wouldn't pick them up unless Cassian contacted him directly, given the difficulty of the mission. He hadn't thought much about it then, figuring it would take them at least a few days to worm the information out of the imperial officials-

Though Cassian had not counted on Jyn's free-will. Or her complete disregard of _impractical_ orders, as she insisted on calling them. No matter his insistence all bases were covered and he'd be perfectly safe, Jyn's brow had still creased and those bright green eyes of hers had pierced him with a glare of disbelief.

_"You can never be too sure," she'd grumbled, the blue hue of elongated stars in hyperspace catching on her frown. "Or too safe from the Empire," she'd shot back, folding her arms._

Perhaps he should have listened... or at the very least paid more attention. Although the appropriate term would be making use of his imagination. After all, he should have seen it coming from light years away, especially taking into account Jyn's sour mood. He'd have suspected she was up to something. He should have contemplated the possibility she may forge her way into the facility and steal the holocrons—

Which, and he'd to admit she had a point there, may have been a more sensible plan to begin with. Yet, the Alliance needed as much information directly from the sources as they could get. And what a better way to get it was it there than putting pompous oblivious imperials against the Alliance's best spy?

Jyn had not been of the same opinion.

_"You realise they are putting you in danger," a slight scowl etched to her face while she combed her hair. "There is a safer way of doing this whole thing, you know that, don't you?"_

Just as she hadn't been of the same opinion they should leave Coruscant so quickly after getting the Intel they were after. It might be suspicious if Joreth Sward vanished in such short notice, she'd whispered against his lips that morning. It'd surely look strange, he'd to concur-

Had he been paying more attention, he might have caught the tell-tale signs. The tone in her voice, the slight higher pitch with an almost imperceptible ripple of laughter... But her mouth on his and her hands all over his body, brushing off the drowsiness of sleep from him had proven to be distracting enough. Not his proudest nor best moment, professionally speaking, though in that regard his heart and his sense of duty begged to differ.

So, in retrospective, he deserved the stubbed toe and the shortness of breath. He should have weighed the possibility of Jyn snatching his comm so he couldn't reach Kay.

He took the turn to the first floor, and rushed down the stairs. He huffed, winced, mulling over a curse, silently wishing the whole apartment had had carpeted floors, even if the cold tiles were helping to dull the ache on his foot-

"Jyn!" he called out again. "Stop it! This isn't funny anymore!"

It didn't help his frustration that she was peering into the living room from the other end of the room, with that grin of hers growing wider, despite her effort to bite down on it the closer Cassian got to her. She kept working her lips to keep some degree of silence, Cassian could hear her snorted giggle in those slightly narrowed eyes.

Her resolve didn't last long. Apparently vexing him was absolutely hilarious.

"Oh, what's the matter, captain?" she beamed, tilting her head. "Getting slow? Age catching up with you?"

He would have loved to glare at her menacingly, but all he managed was a grunt.

"We need to get back to base, Jyn," he practically scoffed. "Mission's over."

Far from acknowledging his words, she giggled again, her head now almost brushing her shoulder. She took a step backward, clamping her lips, though her twinkling eyes and tensed cheeks gave her away entirely.

Cassian weighed whether he could sprint and cover the few meters of distance before she was able to dash off again. Never lowering his gaze, he heaved a sigh, hoping this was it. Silently praying she'd had enough with teasing him already, that finally he'd succeeded in bending her will and made some sense of duty come back to her at last.

So he stepped forward, finally allowing his frown to ease into a small, soft smile. A few meters ahead, Jyn hummed, lifting her chin up.

But just when she was within reach, the wicked smile and the hearty laugh rushed to her lips once again. She whirled around and bolted off before he could get hold of her. Cassian grumbled at the unexpected turn of events.

"Jyn," he heaved a tired sigh. "Please—"

"You'll have to catch me first, captain," she said, trying to keep her face straight as she skulked away, though her voice slightly wavered with ripples of laughter.

Cassian held her gaze, and with the most dead serious tone he could muster, he retorted back, "this is insubordination."

He spent another good five minutes tagging after her all over the apartment again. His thumping heartbeat and raspy throat were enough indication to confirm that, in fact, all those imperial reports hadn't lied when they assured she was indeed "resourceful to avoid capture". He entertained the idea of using the dull ache on his hip and its subsequent slight staggering as leverage, but a pang of guilt rushed over him as soon as the thought flickered through his mind. That would certainly be an unnecessary low blow. And a trifle twisted on his part.

He knew it was unfair.

(It was also unfair she was forcing him to take part in an impromptu race just for her amusement, but regardless—)

Satisfaction tugged at his mouth when, against all his predictions, Jyn took the wrong turn while skidding along another hallway. With a shrill of laughter, she had harried into the one to the kitchen. Not the one to the living room.

"How come," he couldn't help the chuckle that came rippling his voice at Jyn's sour mood and sudden frown of bit-down lip and slightly narrowed eyes. "Nowhere to run, uh?"

By the way her keen green eyes surveyed him from across the isle, Cassian feared sliding over and across the granite counter and wriggling past him had flickered through her mind. He rushed around the isle, finally standing right opposite her, merely inches away. The way Jyn's eyebrows shot up to her hairline and the sound she let out, an odd mixture of a squeal and snorted giggle, almost made all that exhausting and frustrating game of chase worth it.

Almost.

There was a faint thump the moment Jyn leant on the wall, suppressing a smile, looking at him straight in the eye, tipping up her chin. Amusement glinted in her eyes.

Cassian bridged the gap keeping them apart, set his hand on the wall right next to her shoulder. A faint flush tinged her cheeks, from the run, surely. Her chest was heaving and her breathing was still rather laboured, after all. A quizzical dip took the corner of her right eyebrow.

Her breath hadn't caught just now, he thought as warmth spread through his chest. Not knowing what to say exactly, he settled for smoothing the chaotic strands of hair sticking out in almost every direction imaginable. Brushing them out of her face, he let his lips ease a bit.

His fingers travelled down her face to her neck, then to her arm. He tried not to think too much about the rustling sound of her sigh catching in her throat, the way her breath itched at his touch, or the warmth of her skin under his.

"You think you can give me the comm back now?" he asked, voice low but still soft against his every intention. He was supposed to be annoyed, wasn't he? At least, that seemed like the most sensible strategy to go with, given the circumstances—

Or maybe not, judging by the fact Jyn quickly saw her opening and took it, sliding her arm around his waist, pulling him closer. Sucking in a breath, he brushed his fingers up and down her arm. He tilted his head when his fingertips brushed against the hard bumps of her wrist, a side smile soon blooming on his face.

Jyn, still gazing right back at him, licked her lips and swayed slightly forward, her hip brushing against his thigh.

"Jyn," he said, voice flat and stoic, "the comm, if you please."

"Shouldn't you be _searching me_ if you want it so badly?"

He wanted to grunt and burst out laughing at the same time. That cheeky straightforwardness was kind of new, though not entirely _un-Jyn_ , at last as far as him was concerned.

"You had me chasing you all over the apartment," he shot back, arching an eyebrow. "Don't you think that's enough?"

"Afraid of a challenge, captain?" she jibbed at him.

"You are stalling."

"Maybe," she shrugged. 

He arched both eyebrows now, and frowned for good measure. And yet—

"Search me."

Cassian contemplated rolling his eyes. The request was ridiculous, and it was painfully obvious what she intended to resort to if he abode by it. Because the only thing she was currently wearing was her underwear and his shirt, and the latter didn't have any pockets —and... he was not entirely sure about the former, anyway.

_Stalling._

"Come on, Jyn," he said, an edge of a plea almost rippling through his voice, wrapping his fingers around her elbow, gently nudging the arm she'd tucked behind her back.

At last, she rolled her eyes and huffed, much to Cassian's delight. She opened her balled hand.

Cassian stared. And stared. And then blinked repeatedly.

"Where did you hide it, Jyn?" he wouldn't punctuate than with a groan, he wouldn't give her that satisfaction.

Jyn pecked him on the lips, smiling against his mouth.

"I'll tell you where it is," she practically cooed, voice barely above a whisper and warm against his skin. "On one condition..." 

 

* * *

 

"You could have just asked."

Cassian mumbled, stirring the water and corn flour together with his hand.

"Would you have agreed, Mr. _'the mission's over, we have to leave'_ ," Jyn scoffed, rolling her eyes while opening the can of sauce. "You'd have told me to just grab something at Dex's."

Cassian looked up from the bowl, still squeezing the half-integrated dough between his fingers.

"Thought you liked Dex's," he offered with a shrug.

Jyn lent on the counter, practically glaring at him with one hand on her hip, scowling. She let out a shaky breath, shaking her head, promptly adding in a frustrating hush, "I like _your_ cooking more, you karking sleemo."

A smile dimpled Cassian's cheek. Jyn brewed them some caf while they waited the corn to absorb the water, then both of them, arm to arm and elbow to elbow, diligently divided the dough and rolled it into small balls.

Sipping at his cup of caf, Cassian watched Jyn rummaging through the cabinets, muttering increasingly more colourful curses in the process. She'd left the different spice jars next to the pot, its sauce bubbling and simmering gently. Warmth spread through his chest again, comforting and calming. For a moment, maybe, he could pretend it was just them making chilaquiles for breakfast. For a moment, he could pretend this apartment was theirs and they wouldn't have to leave in a few hours—

For a moment, he let his mind and heart bask in this shooting feeling that kept tugging at his lips, kept making his stomach do a little flutter each time Jyn flashed him a tiny smile, momentarily forgetting her crusade against the crockery.

He wished he could have a small semblance of this more often. A chuckled vibrated in his throat when she whispered _karking hells_ after shutting close yet another cabinet.

"Jyn," they could just try and do it with the cutting board, a pan, or their hands even, if they couldn't find a plate heavy enough to flatten the tortilla dough.

"I can't find a kriffing plate that—"she huffed an exasperated sound, running her fingers through her hair, wisps sticking in every direction.

The light caught the auburn gleams. She padded across the kitchen, still barefoot, to the other set of cabinets. Still wearing his shirt.

"Jyn," he tried again.

"I am trying, okay—" she huffed. "I won't be defeated by a bunch of-"

"Te amo."

Something fell into place when the words rolled out of his mouth, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The air, everything really, was suddenly lighter around him, somehow. She whipped her head around abruptly. And all of a sudden the air got to heavy to breathe, his heart lodged in his throat, nearly suffocating him—

_Had he just ruined everyth—_

"Yo también," she blurted out, like always struggling with that final stress and accidentally rising her voice an octave. A flush rushed up her cheeks and she bit down on her lower lip.

"But, could you give me a hand—" her fingers waved towards the remaining drawers and cabinets.

The wide, goofy smile spread across his face turned into a teasing one, "afraid of a challenge, sergeant?"

Chuckling, he ducked just in time to dodge the balled dishcloth Jyn threw to his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I pretend it didn't take me months to post the last chapter ~~after accidentally deleting the story file while doing some overdue cleaning and thus had to write it again~~ n.nUu and thank you all for your support, kudos and lovely comments <3 Jokes aside, I am deeply sorry for the delay, though I hope the wait was worth it :) Once again, thank you all so much for reading this, I have a soft spot for (romantic) nuance in Spanish vs English, and these two dorks multilingual shenanigans, I am ecstatic to see you all enjoy it as well n_n


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